“Get up! We are going to Naturals near by.. it’s just ten minutes walk away from here. Get up now!” She shouted as I stared at her face blankly not making sense of anything.
“Where are you? I’m calling out to you for the fifth time. Get up now!”, she said again, waving her hand in front of my face. I must have zoned out again. This has become perpetual to me now, and she is the only one who has been patiently dealing with me. I grab the shirt that’s lying on the chair next to my shabby bed and put it over my tank top. I don’t even bother to look up in the mirror and just adjust my hair with my bare hands before following her out like a robot.
She is telling me something but I’m obviously not listening. Nothing affects me these days. Other people either don’t notice or are least bothered about what’s going on with me. I smile at them and return an empty laugh at their jokes only to make them know I’m fine. They obviously fail to notice the difference though it’s right there in front of them, in my eyes. But I wish if only I can fool myself too. No, it’s not constant sadness because sadness ends, It’s emptiness. It’s numbness. It’s never ending. She says it will get better but I’m not sure because it’s like a downward spiral and I only seem to go deeper and deeper into this.
I keep walking, hundreds of hoardings try to catch my attention but fail to, except the one that is shining brightly under the neon light saying NATURALS. We step inside and she goes to the counter to order the ice-creams for us. I, however, keep walking towards the stairs. She calls out to me wondering where am I going but don’t turn back. My heart disobeying the vehement requests of my mind to not do this but I keep dragging myself, one step at one stairs at a time. I reach the top flight and see three empty set of table and chairs around them. There aren’t many people at this hour of the day. And then I see you. I see us.
I see you feeding me a spoon of mango icecream. Then I see myself giving you another spoon. I see ourselves giggling over a joke I can’t hear from this distance. I see love brimming in our eyes as we continue to enjoy our conversation over ice-cream. That was a beautiful escape that day, wasn’t it? But then what happened now? Why? Tears again start to roll down when I had thought that there aren’t any left in me. My heart shatters, yet again. I have lost count of how many times it happens in a day. I don’t even care to pick up the pieces now.
“Hey”, she is here with two scoops of ice-cream in her hands. I turn around. She hands me one and takes me downstairs. We sit outside the ice-cream parlour on the bench by the roadside and she feeds me the ice-cream just the way you used to do. Tears refused to stop. Icecream didn’t taste like happiness anymore because my happiness is lost.
I am taking part in The Write Tribe Problogger October 2017 Blogging Challenge
Prompt : Disobedience