Embracing Traditions #NuptialNarratives

“Wife, a four-letter small word but holds a world of responsibility”, I mused as we sat in the balcony beginning our day with our morning routine of green tea and coffee. This starts a long conversation between me and my husband about the social and personal responsibilities that comes down on a couple after marriage.

As the discussion begins to touch various points, we couldn’t help pondering about how life changes differently for the man and the woman. I wonder, how deeply rooted these gender roles are in our societies. At some level, I find this to be extremely questionable that though the generation prior to us has done a great job in raising their daughters into strong and independent women but has it done us good or simply added more to our bucket?  Because even though they meant good for us when sending us out to college and jobs, they couldn’t stop us from imbibing the ‘patriarchal culture’ at home, handed down through the generations. This only makes me realize that changes do begin at home and there is still a long road to be travelled.  Until now I have only heard from married friends or read articles about this, but as we complete the first quarter together, I can say living these changes is an experience in itself and how different it is for every individual. The things that seemed easy turn out to be a lot tougher and often things we had feared turns out to be much easier. 

As the Time slowly passes us by (at the snail’s speed during the lockdown), in just three months it feels like much more than it actually is. With Covid-19 restrictions, we had been holed up in the house just like others. Though this came as a silver lining for me earlier as I got to spend more time with the family, getting to know them better and understanding them even more. But this surplus amount of time suddenly at home has also made these changes faster to be imbibed, of course eliminating the buffer period of slowly soaking in the feeling of being a newlywed. Currently, it doesn’t feel like three months but like many months. The newness of a marriage faded away far too quickly to have sunk in deep first. But I am not complaining, at least the wedding happened in Pre-Covid era!! Even after almost having the same discussion one day or the other, it still feels like we haven’t thanked God enough for the wedding bells that rung just in time before everyone’s life came to a standstill. Phew! An adventurous escape! 

A short message from my sister wishing us the togetherness of three months brings a smile to our face and steers the conversation towards the lighter topics. We sit there for another hour, reminiscing the carefree days of our dating time when stealing little moments of togetherness away from the world had a thrill of its own! 

Above mentioned thoughts are merely an expression out of various experiences of many married women including myself. This is not to offend/demean anyone’s views about married life.