The Sunday Scroll #32 – A Date With Myself

They say, writers and readers like it indoors. They are introverts, most of them, and all they want is their room, their book/pen and it’s the perfect weekend ever. Well I disagree. While majority of us might not be so social to be hanging out, dancing, drinking and socializing, but we surely don’t love it indoors forever as the myth goes. We too love walking out in sunshine, having fun trip with our ‘close’ set of friends, don’t we? Tell me you people if we were to sit indoors all the time, where would we writers get the ideas to write about. One day or the other our inspiration would certainly run out, wouldn’t it? It’s not like we only like to read books, we love to read people too, their each and every expression telling a different story. So, yes we like it indoors at times but not always, one weekend after the other and yet another. We also like to go out and explore.

So, when I had already wasted more than half of my weekend being holed up inside, alone, I decided to not waste the rest of it. I quickly wiped out the tears of my company, and got up to do a quick clean-up round of the room that has been messy since Friday evening. The credit of bringing the room to this state ofcourse rests with me being too lazy to do anything other than brooding over the fact that I couldn’t make it to the family wedding where everyone else was having a gala time, attempting to get rid of that lonely feeling with a plate of Maggi for company (thinking that atleast there was someone who proved to be always there), getting irritated on every other person who called me up and yes, reading the old blogposts and realizing how much things have changed and ofcourse devouring the latest book that had turned up on my doorstep a few days back. What a lazy weekend, you must be wondering what’s wrong with me. I didn’t feel like doing anything else. I just wanted to be there being lazy and dull while my heart wanted to explore the new city, walk through the Marine Drive, feel the sea waves on Juhu Beach and go for a shopping spree. But all I did was just sit there and sulk.

Now, when the room was clean and I sat down to rest for a minute, the laziness struck again and I switched on TV, which I rarely watch. It just sits there singing some songs and makes me feel less alone. The book was back in my hand and I was back on my couch. Few songs later, few happy and few sad, I absent-minedly watched a few adverts and the idea of “Go Solo” struck me suddenly. I got up and few minutes later I finally picked out what to wear, and was good to go. All this while I had already read a few reviews of the latest movie and judged that it wasn’t bad for one-time watch. I booked the tickets in a hurry with not much seats left and rushed out.

I have never gone alone for a movie, never dined out alone (I’m not counting those lunch times in office) and NEVER EVER shopped alone.I always thought it to be weird when I saw people turning up alone for a movie or having food in a fancy restaurant all by themselves. I wondered if they didn’t even have a single person to hang out with and then I would instantly thank god for my awesome bunch of friends by my side. But today I realized why, why were they alone. Because they refused to feel lonely when everyone else who was important in their life had something more important going with their life. I realized that not always will someone be there for me, and then I just can’t sit and cry.

The movie turned out to be something I could relate too well, as I have been living with somewhat same thought from past few days. After the movie I had a quick lunch all by myself. I didn’t see anyone like me. Everyone had someone, friends, family, lovers, siblings etc. I also did notice a few heads turning to notice me eating alone, but it didn’t matter. For a second or so, a few thoughts passed by my mind, what everyone must be thinking, why am I alone, but then I shut them up. It was meant to be a fun date with myself not a cribbing one. I wandered in the stores to buy something but couldn’t find anything I wanted. By evening my legs were screaming in pain of torture I was inflicting on them, doing rounds of almost each and every store that could tempt a woman. Finally buying nothing I returned home empty-handed (No, I’m not counting that chocolate in my hand and not even the icecream in the other 😉 )

But I did come back home with a new experience earned. I realized that sometimes we need to get out with ourselves, spend sometime with ourselves… sometimes we just need to GO SOLO. Sometimes we just need to Date Ourselves too!

How do you like your weekends to be- indoors or outdoors? Have been on a date with yourself willingly?