Celebrating Women? Really?? #MakeItHappen
Hi all,
I had earlier decided that I won’t be writing any post for this Women’s Day. Then what happened? I woke up on this not-so-sunny morning with loads of messages, tweets, Facebook statuses celebrating International Women’s Day today. All of them filled with inspiration, pride, happiness and those feel good factors. There are newspapers filled with messages of celebrating women exclusive offers on Women’s day for Women obviously. Then these news channels broadcast a long list of achievements made by women in anything to everything. I didn’t bother to read/watch them all. Message was one, loud and clear:
Dear Women, You are simply Awesome, and we love you (today but not everyday).
But hold on, who is saying this? Ofcourse the messages were from men and women alike. But who is actually saying it from the heart and not for just the heck of it. I won’t be surprised if only 5% of the wishes would be true, and the rest adulterated with some kinds of stereotypes and social stigmas.
I didn’t feel like replying to any of those until I know it’s genuine. And why should I?? You might be alright with celebrating Womanhood for a day in an year, sorry I’m not. It’s no festival to be celebrated once a year. Is it? The recent issue of India’s daughter documentary angered me, and the ban that followed added fuel to fire. I am a writer and writers are particularly known to prefer nonviolence; and I am no different. Though I hate violence but this time the anger is too much to contain. Their opinion makes me sick. This country is said to be democratic, we were taught that right? Still The gap remains between the theory and practical. Surely that was theory because I don’t see democracy anywhere. Oh, I forgot, how can I enjoy democracy, I am a women, a women in India, that is no country for women.We are just told to do things we should do and we are expected to do that. We are slaves. Let’s do one thing, let’s ditch Democracy and follow Patriarchy officially!! It hurts to say but, I don’t feel proud being an Indian Daughter. If you ask why? Go and see the statistics, and you will know. They aren’t encouraging in any way!!
I have a few things to say, both men and women. Please let me!!
Dear Women,
What to say to you that haven’t been said yet? You are already perfect. You don’t have to go so hard on yourself. Those who value you will value you even if you do it a little less and those who don’t, won’t ever. It’s as simple as that. Those pretty little ways you shower your love on the people around you, those little gestures filled with care, that cute anger filled with concern, all this defines how beautiful you are to the core. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. Don’t let anyone fill your heart with doubts and chain your wings. You are a pretty butterfly so fly high!! Don’t strive to please each n every one in your life. You will never succeed.
I ask you why there is no Men’s day to celebrated with so much loudness? Because every day is their day. They do what they feel like. Anyday. Everyday. So, why can’t you??
This IWD, take pledge that you won’t be bothered by anyone, pledge that you will move beyond the stereotypes and make the world a better place for fellow women, pledge to #MakeItHappen.
Dear Men,
Let’s get straight to the point. Tell me one thing, do you feel threatened if a women happens to overtake you? Does our success makes you insecure? Does it hurt your beloved ego? Is this why you chain us with stereotypes?? Do you consider us as your enemies? Because we surely don’t. We see a brother, a friend, a father in you. We marry one of you. We love you as you are. We give up our name, our home, our career, our dreams.. almost everything yet our sacrifice aren’t enough for you. You still forget to remember that we are human. Then you say that we call for whatever bad happen to us. That makes me laugh. Why would any woman call for mishap? If you can’t control yourself and your brothers and your sons, is it our fault??? Do we bother to poke our nose into your life? Do we ask what you are doing in your life? Who are you hanging out with? So why do you? Why can’t you live and just let live?
What’s the use of all the love, respect, pride showered on us today when you don’t mean a word of it the moment the date changes to 9th March. Tell me, what’s the use of this celebration? Is it like you feel lucky to have the women in your life just on 8th March and rest of the days you take her for-granted, like she was born to please you. I can’t think of any one whose life gets on without a women crossing his path atleast once a day. If she doesn’t then her thoughts are sure to cross your mind. A mother’s love? Sister’s care? Friend’s advice? Girlfriend’s thoughts? Wife’s words? Ofcourse today you have wished every single women of your life, reminding her how important she is in your life. But why don’t do you do it on a regular basis? She might will feel good. Obviously she wouldn’t have stopped doing anything she does even if you hadn’t made her feel special today. If she is important in your life, isn’t her dreams, her freedom, her space equally important to you? Yes, I know majority of you find it really hard to express but still a little care in your gestures is not so tough, is it? She doesn’t want it, but she surely deserves it. And more than love and care, she deserves RESPECT, just like everyone else; because in case you have forgotten she is also human. And if your can’t do this even, just leave us alone!! Literally! We would be better off!! So this IWD, pledge to change the world around her a little, pledge to #MAkeItHappen.
I know this post might hurt many. This post might not be liked. But I want answer. Every women now needs answers!! It might label me as a Feminist. SO BE IT!! IT’S HIGH TIME TO STAND UP AND STEP FORWARD!!
It’s time to #MakeItHappen.
Linking this with
I can feel the anger in you! I feel the same too. But alas! I wish there is some change, some goddamn change!!!!!!
Seriously Shalini!! I am so sick of it!!
You know we have had enough, right? I don’t want anyone dictating terms of women anymore..
Neither do i!!! Change is needed and this time it’s urgent.
This post is real alarm i.e.anger
within.A question to answer daily.
When we will learn to give due respect to all women not a particular day.But i pray to GOD to give ‘good thoughts’ to
every man whrther literate or illerate.
Change in thoughts is the ultimate need of the hour!! Only then society can change!
Nibha,
I’m responsible for two men – myself and my son. All I can assure you is that ‘we’ will strive our best to make that change possible, however little our impact might be. Here’s hoping for a better future for women everywhere, one they are free to live on their own terms.
Thanks Sid. We need more people like you. People, men and women alike, to stand up equally and mean what they say! 🙂
Oh Nibha, I can so relate to your words as I feel them too. You may have read my take on the Delhi rapist interview though I didn’t see the BBC documentary, as well as the news in Oxford, and then today being International Women’s Day. I so agree with you in that why are women considered for only one day, etc. You have hit the nail on the head. <3
Yah, I did read your post about the said issue. Yes, it’s high time indeed.
This is what I called seriously worth writing for the day for women ! The anger in it welcome and ya its an alarming … hats off to u Nibha
Thanks Shantanu. I just hope it brings about the change we all are waiting for!
I think what is needed is an end to gender disparities. Equal opportunities, equal rights, and equal responsibilities too. In short, gender should not be the reason for hindrance in any person’s progress.
However, I need to make a point here. Animportant aspect that is often ddisregarded is the fact that many a times, it is women who lack respect for their own fold. I have seen women have different set of rules for their daughters and for their daughters in law, for example.
I appeal to all women out there to actively participate in empowering their fold, and to lead by example.
Cheers
CRD
I totally agree with you on this aspect. Indeed both men and women alike will have to come forward to make a difference!
Powerful write Nibha. I can understand your emotions because I go through the same every time some stereotypical male decides to judge a woman.
Forget diamonds, chocolates or even books… we just want the R word! Respect!
I totally agree with you. Respect will be more than enough for us!
Hi Nibha, I liked the way you wrote letters to both. The only thing I wanted to add was that your letter to men applies to a lot of women too. Women judge women more harshly than men at times. We need to do this together- jointly we can make a difference.
Yes, i agree with you totally. We, women also need to break the shackles and stop judging others!
Great post! This is true–women need to uplift ourselves and each other!!! I’m visiting from the A to Z theme reveal list–I’m a minion and you’re in my small group to say hi to! It’s great to meet you and I can’t wait to read your A to Z posts.
Yes exactly Stephanie! 🙂
Welcome to Expressions! 🙂
Your anger and passion come through very strongly. btw there is an international men’s day – 19 November.
Let’s hope someday women can say “We are free”
That’s interesting as I never heard of International Men’s Day before..I don’t think. Wonder if they’ll get a lot of hoopla, maybe even front page coverage on both main local newspapers, unlike for women’s day! 😉
I can understand your anger and I am feeling angry myself! I have seen so many fake people around taking about feminism, I am getting sick of it now!
International Women’s Day #MakeItHappen
Indeed Swathi!! What we want is a real change now!
wonderful post Nibha! Can’t agree with you more….even I refrained myself from answering to those so called women’s day messages and also from writing any special post for the occasion. I just wish people acted rather than making tall claims and promises. As a woman, I need the world to respect us, treat us as equals – I dont need a high pedestal and be worshipped; i just need to be treated as a human being, nothing more or less.
I totally agree with you on that. Treat us equal, that’s all we want!!