Life At A Standstill #MondayMusings
Life is still. Family had come over to celebrate my parents’ 25th Wedding Anniversary and their trip was coming to an end. To end it came but with a surprise, rather a shock I should say. Just when I thought too many a things were going on for me at the moment, someone pressed the pause button, without my consent. Everyone’s life is going on and mine is here at a standstill. I just see hours turn into days, days turn into weeks and finally weeks turn into month. I had almost come to terms with the fast and furious life of Mumbai when suddenly everything went blank. It’s slightly more than a week gone by but I’m still trying to accept it, but unable to. As I type this single-handedly, my other hand sits idly in my lap, feeling helpless. This feeling of helplessness is now slowly getting into my head from my hand.
After initials buckets of water lashed out, I now continue to smile, because obviously I can’t cry forever. They say that’s a spirit one should keep always. But deep down inside. it starting to get on my nerves, this stillness of life. From the window of my room I see people running to office every morning. Irony is, no matter how much hate my work, I’m still beginning to miss that rhythm of my life. I stare at the calendar in my room and just count the days. Only six days have been struck yet and it already feels like a month.
People say you will get used to it very soon and the time will fly. I wonder how soon that soon will be, I can’t see that coming anytime soon though. The moment I see myself in the mirror, tear warn me to fill my eyes and I avert my gaze from my helplessness. Oh Gosh, I make it sound so grim. No, It’s not that serious but all I can see the future plans vanish in a blink. I’m still unable to believe it. Just one thing is resonating in my mind that my dad always used to say to me, Man proposes, God disposes. Quite fitting in my case. No matter how much I try to let my spirit fly at this moment too, it refuses to do so. There is this dullness taking over and I seem unable to shirk it off.
I have been given enough ideas to perk-up my sudden so-called vacation. So enough sadness for one post, let me now concentrate on the good to enlighten my dark mood. To start off, I can strike the books off my TBR List and actually read them now. I can delete some movies from Hard drive after actually watching them. I can catch up with all the series I had left mid-way. I can enjoy home food. I can enjoy being a kid again, being pampered at the slightest hint of a demand.
But on the serious note, I can use this given time to sort out the thoughts and emerge with a plan to plunge into as and when I free myself from this sling. I can try to write, and write a lot since I, now, should not suffer from any distraction except the one offered by my persistent thoughts. Yes, I can possibly write myself to glory in these days. Yeah, it all sounds so honky-dory but trust me it isn’t, irrespective of my efforts to make it fun.
But I can’t reject this either that this has suddenly changed my perspective about life. I’m beginning to appreciate it better. Life, as they is unpredictable. You plan and plan and plan… and then suddenly wooosh!!! All your plans go hay-wire, like mine did! And till the moment you realize how bad life screwed you with just a small event, that can be possibly life-changing too. Yes, I’m hit with this very realization these days, the uncertainty of our life, of our very existence. So, as I count the aftereffects of it on my life plans and counter count the “good” things coming with it, I do one more thing. I take a decision. I decide that I won’t plan the far future, I’ll plan near future instead and execute it. I won’t plan Tomorrows, because they might not happen, but I will plan Today, because it’s what I have now.
Because to leave a mark, you have to hold the pen first…
P.S: I thought a lot about writing this post, then I thought a lot before hitting the Publish button, but then against the nagging thoughts I decided to do it. Why? Thinking that may be it’ll help me a little in some way. Or someone else, may be.
P.P.S: I have injured myself with minor Radial Head Fracture in my left arm, rest for five weeks. (I know not a big thing but pretty big issue for me)
Have you been ever stuck in life feeling helpless about it? How did you cope with that feeling?
Linking this to #MondayMusings @ Everyday Gyaan
Hey what happened Nibha? COming to your question…I was stuck many times, felt like you are feeling now…Once was just before my placements when I got burnt and had to stay in the hospital and then at home..don’t worry this too shall pass and give you something good in return..
Oh god that had so terrible! For me, I am stuck with a sling, injured my hand last week.
Nibha, you sound so sad.. what happened? Some ups and downs do happen. Of course, life is full of surprises and you never know what the next turn will bring. But, this too shall pass. Do the things you couldnt do earlier do to lack of time. Or just watch TV. I find it therapeutic.
Yah, I’m also trying all these stuff. Injured my hand, down with five weeks plaster. 🙁
Nibha, dear girl. What happened? Felt sad reading what you’ve written. Yes, life throws a spanner in your works many times. I have been in helpless situations too.And the only thing that one has to do is to work hard towards getting back to normal. Hope you feel well soon.
Yah, I’m trying to but unable to. Hence this post. Fractured my hand last week, rest if advised for next five weeks.
Woaa girl… You are too young to even think like that… What happened… You should tell us you know… We are there.. Yes you can now catch up with whole heaps of things and write some awesome poetry too… Life always throws lemons… Just make a nice sherbet and drink it. I hope you recover soon and your chirpy happy self is back 🙂
Thanks for the support. Feeling much better now. I’m down with fracture of left arm.
Oops on that fracture but hey – use this time to read and take walks. Seeing the world around will make you happy and it’s all a part. Glad you decided to publish this cos see how many love you. Me included. So cheer up, smile and take a walk. Nothing is permanent, even that fracture. You will be perfect soon. Hugs!
Yes, it did made me smile. Thanks a lot for the support. On the road to recovery now! 🙂
Sorry about your injury! Hope you recover real soon. In the mean time, do what you have shared… read, think, watch movies TV, relax and rejuvenate yourself. Make the most of this time. And stay positive! Hugs, Nibha!
The list remains still incomplete though 😛 Thanks a lot Shilpa 🙂
Ah Nibha, Take care f your hand. And like you said, it is just life’s way of giving you time to think and do somethings that you have been ignoring for a while. Its good to catch a break oncein a while even if it is a forced one.
Yah, you said it right. It gave me time to think and think a lot! Thanks 🙂
I am sorry to know about your injury. I have been through this, writing a post and thinking many times about hitting the publish button, deciding to go with publishing and then doubting the decision to ultimately feeling relieved with readers giving the perking. I hope the same thing happened to you with respect to this post. It happens. Life is moving at a decent pace and then all of a sudden something strikes bringing it a standstill. 6 days means a week has already passed leaving it to just 4 more weeks. Read, watch movies, gather your thoughts, write, blog there is still so much you can do. My healing thoughts and positivity to you.
Thanks a ton. Yes indeed the comments from the blogging community did fill me with positivity! Glad I posted this! 🙂
I hope you feel better soon. Yes the Universe has a mind of its own. I have stopped planning and started living – going with the flow. It’s made life easier and more exciting. When life throws you lemons, make lemonade.
Yah, hopefully I am also able to do that! Thanks 🙂
Take care Nibha, this too shall pass and loads of hugs.
Thanks a ton Sunila 🙂
Take care! Everything will be ok, soon! 🙂
Thanks 🙂